I have been doing a lot of research into other people's blogs over the last couple of days. A lot of different types from 'make-up' recommendations to some really disturbing all or nothing personal experience ones. A lot of them have more photos than words and I feel that as mine appears to be mainly words i am going to be working on maybe adding pics etc but for now I am sticking to the same format. Thanks to you Sal ... Sal incase you are wondering is a dear friend I met on twitter - she has persuaded me to continue for the time being at least, so thanks bird you won.....I'm still blogging ....
Friendships are a difficult subject for most of us to understand ....I've made friends over the years when at school college, gym etc, but mostly within the work place and at the time they were so important but once either of us left that environment or work place thats it. maybe also after the initial catch up sessions we both realised the lesson that the only real reason we were friends was because we worked together and that all we had in common was our hatred for our boss/team leaders. is this to be expected? a natural occurrence to most people? Then again when however you have to explain such things to an Aspie such as Jon its hard. I've tried so many times to explain that people are not necessarily lying to him if a promise has been broken and that with the best will in the world sometimes people cannot do everything they say they will. But the disappointment is etched on his face every time it happens within his work environment.
I have visited the hairdressers and each time I build up a relationship with him or her and they assure me they will not be leaving, that they are happy in that salon - so I begin to trust them and ask for them personally each time i visit and slowly they begin to understand what I mean when I say 'half an inch' only to find on my next visit they have left and nobody will say where they have gone! It's a difficult lesson to learn especially for Jon so its just as well he is bald...... but seriously when it comes to work it is so important to him he really cannot understand why everybody else doesn't feel the same about it. I have tried to explain most people 'work to live' not 'live to work' as he does 24/7. This he finds difficult - hard when he lets someone in to his world work wise and they dare to want to leave to pursue other projects - to him it feels like a dagger in his back and this he views as a very personal act against him. I've tried to explain each time that this isn't the case but he feels it 100%. If by some miracle we won the lottery I honestly believe he would work just as hard as he does now, I don't think he would change in the slightest. He would still worry about dead lines and would sit up all night trawling the Internet trying to read reviews of products before he buys them and we would have to look for bargains in the supermarkets.
When we first got together we would get up really early on a Sunday morning and go and visit a large car boot sale a few miles from home. We loved the bargains, the fact we never knew what we were going to see and the fact we could make £10 go such a long way! Many things made there way into our place, books, CDs - you name it. We at one point or another bought it and our house quickly began to look like something or at least the beginning of one of those dreadful hoarder houses that seem to crop up on TV now and again. We had a large collection of South Park figures I remember but over our time we learnt that we couldn't keep so much so most of it went the way of the charity shop. She was some snotty bint I remember who I vowed never to return to and have since found a different charity and a grateful shop manager who loves receiving parcels from us and often does.
Friendships unfortunately cannot be taken to the charity shop once you no longer require them. You have to realise that not all people are as worthy of your attention as others and you have to learn that the good friends are worth the effort to keep in touch with. I have just or am just beginning to learn that one for myself and when I've learnt it I can try and explain it to Jonathan but that is going to be a difficult one to explain as its still so very hard even for me ...... Let alone him
Today has been a long day x
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