Years ago when my children were small. I would regularly meet other mothers with their little ones for coffee and chats the kids would play and we would put the world to rights. We would laugh and compare stories and to be honest these sessions were a life saver for me and the kids. There was this one particular child who shall we say wasn’t kind he would regularly take toys away from the others and would slap bite and genuinely be extremely unkind. Every week he appeared to have a vendetta against a different child and the fear on their little face was obvious. The inevitable tears that flowed afterwards would break your heart and his mother never did a thing she would sit and watch whilst we all took it in turns to discipline her son as you can imagine this began to eat away at me and resentment began to build. On this particular day it was my daughters turn and he decided to follow her into the kitchen and bite a lump out of her arm she ran into the lounge tears streaming down her face her arm out stretched in front of her as she attempted to show me the teeth marks in it. As any mother knows we all have a hidden tiger and now it was my turn to show him off. I launched into his mother and demanded she tell him off and I was not prepared for the reply and to this day I have never forgotten her words ....
‘Some people are born with the word victim stamped on their foreheads’
Years later I can still hear her saying this and even though my daughter is in her 20s now these words still resonates with in me, was his mother right? Are there such things as born victims or are these people a direct result of other peoples treatment of them and the apparent lack of parenting skills of the few? This I feel is very noticeable as the odd few do seem to think it is ok to behave badly and are not accountable for their actions as it always seems to be someone else’s fault? Time and time again we see on the news or in the press people have done the most appalling things to others and every single time it because their parents were divorced or an ex partner did this or that why is it NEVER their fault? I firmly believe children should be taught to be responsible for their own actions and the effect these actions have on others. These so called victims are often people who prefer to not make a fuss and stay quiet for the benefit of others is this wrong? as we appear to have created a generation who are responsible for nothing and a growing army of ‘victims’ I look forward to the day when these ‘victims’ turn around and say enough is enough I no longer want to be walked all over and take back the control.
It’s that damp time of the year when the excitement of Christmas is over and the dreaded credit card bill lands on the door mat . The time of year that makes as focus on the past year and the mistakes we made and the promise we make to ourselves to make them all again only bigger this time (well in my case anyway) that time of year when we make the promises that we can’t possibly keep and the wish to improve our lives in often ridiculous ways. I have decided as always that I’m going to be more positive and to eat less cake some of you may think this is trivial and if you find it easy I wish you luck I am unfortunately not that lucky and I have the expanding waist line to prove it. I am often startled when caught off guard in shops when I catch a glimpse of my reflection and the resemblance to my mother grows more obvious every year. I am however becoming braver or perhaps my eye sight is failing either way I am becoming comfortable with the knowledge I am not getting any younger . I dye my hair every few weeks and will not be seen without my signatory pink lipstick but I do not feel the need for the desperate lengths some women go to too look younger the endless pouting selfies on social media and the weekend mirror shot complete with mobile in hand for the full length effect I have reached a time in my life when I find this alien and it’s not for me, neither is the obglitory office party or social gathering. I am not sure if this is a result of living with a husband with Aspergers or living with a chronic pain condition either way I’m a miserable cow at the moment and much prefer a session with my ever growing collection of pens pencils and colouring books and a large mug of tea.
On one final note my husband has noticed just recently on TV the way aspergers is pronounced as ‘Ass burgers’ he hates this and often shouts ‘I have no burgers up my ass’
This always makes me laugh it's as if they can hear him !
