Driving from A to B

Driving me - from A to B 

I learnt to drive years ago before my first daughter was born, I had seen all these poor mums with prams shopping bags and toddlers on the bus and I decided that was not going to be for me. I took ages learning but once I had passed my test and I had purchased my first car I was independent and I loved it.......

Then I met Jonathan!

Suddenly I was not the confident driver any more and the dreaded speedo was more important than the bloody road! We will be going along and he will say "your doing 31 love" or "it's only 40 along here"  or "speed camera" now. I am not a maniac, speed freak or a budding formula one driver but blimey 31 how shameful. Also he has set my sat nav to ring a bell every time I go over the speed limit - so I have both of them on my case. I find myself on long trips almost resigned to the fact that within 30 mins my blood will be boiling and I will have planned his murder at least 3 times. The last time I actually demanded the sat nav was turned off or he had to get out. All this aside, he can go anywhere once and even years later he will still remember the way - incredibly. I get lost almost weekly, in fact when we moved into our house I went out for a loaf and had to ask my way back from some kind old lady - haha. Anyway, his memory is amazing, mine is not! In fact, I worried for months if I was perhaps developing altziemers or something, as I would find my bin liners in the freezer or washing machine still not turned on after I was convinced I had done so. After I watched 'Finding Nemo' I related to the character Dory so much, it was her 'just keep swimming' attitude that kind of works for me. All this forgetfulness has since been attributed to my fibromyalgia.

Fibromyalgia sucks, its chronic pain in the soft tissue that as well as the arthritis in my bones means I pretty much hurt EVERYWHERE. This and the itchy skin, lack of sleep and fuzzy head, oh and the sudden urge to launch myself onto the floor legs akimbo - makes me a catch to say the least.  With all this including Jons panicking we really are the ideal dinner guests, in fact that's probably why we stay in a lot. My condition is very closely linked to chronic fatigue or ME, so I'm often to tired to venture out. I long for a job I really enjoy that would give me the freedom to do other things but I feel this is pretty much 'IT' for me, so I am really enjoying the freedom this blog is awarding me. The release from stress sharing the pain and 'aspiexcitement' - kind of makes it slightly less frightening - well at least for me anyway, you guys could be tearing your hair out reading it for all I know.

Jon has reacted well to me being ill, he is used to me falling over and now carefully piles all his stuff up at the side of the room - not in the middle! He has taken over certain jobs in the house completely including cooking as  can no longer get hot stuff out of the oven as well as forgetting its in there - he has to do it. We are a good team despite us both being ill in very different ways and are learning to adjust to each others needs. 

Since the children have fled the nest, this stage of our lives should be about things we want to do after many years of 'duty' but I find life rather cruel in some ways as I'm not able to easily do the things I dreamed I would once free. Oh well in reality neither of us has an actual death sentence as it were and we can still laugh.

We laugh lots, oh yes we LAUGH lots but sometimes for the life of me I just can't remember why!?