Woody and Buzz Lightyear

Funny title isn't it? I bet you are wondering why I've chosen it .....

It's an analogy I came up with whilst talking to a councillor years ago,as to how it feels when Jonathan meets new people/artists whilst on his travels,it feels for me like Woody does when suddenly your not exciting enough anymore sad but true. Not all of his new friends but certainly a couple have had this effect but none of them have lasted the distance. 

I am Woody, the original toy who is always there like a faithful friend loyal and totally honest. Then along they come each one all, shiny new and exciting as they make all the correct noises and promise the earth - everything is wonderful, the conversations flow and suddenly their names crop up in virtually every sentence,  and all the warning signs start flashing - well for me anyway. Aspies often believe all what they are told literally,  therefore if you promise to help you must do so. If you are trusted enough to be allowed to hear his innermost feelings then don't months down the line abandon him or use them to somehow point score against him. These people or Buzz Lightyears, come and go but each one has left a mark on our marriage. Just for a moment don't get me wrong, we are not talking sex or a full blown affairs here, he is not like that but sometimes the in depth discussions with other women do feel like it as each one is always understanding things so much better than myself. The last time was the worst and I have refused to go through it again. I think he now knows the effect it has on me and the fact people cannot always be trusted.

I had a friend once who after leaving the place where we met to go and work somewhere else, returned to see me to persuade me that I should join her. I went and had a look and was impressed with what I saw I got an interview and indeed a job! I handed in my notice and my boss refused to except it ..... She had applied behind my back for my job! 

Whilst I have never met anyone else as evil or devious as her it taught me a lesson and a valuable one too, I just wish Aspies, Jon in particular could also learn it - but i know he cant. I have some good friends and I am grateful for their support over the years but I don't always believe what I'm told by everybody and being told you are the topic of conversation in the canteen hurts especially when it's your so called friends doing it. I can't protect Jon from such things as well, all I can do is be there and try not to become too involved - pick up the pieces afterwards. I do not  enjoy this in the slightest as so much of me wants to shout 

"I told you so" 

but its my responsibility isn't it ? as he looks out for me when he can.

He has a large collection of stones from places all over the world - he always has one in his pocket or on his desk. These are his friends, he feels safe amongst them and he has recognisable long term favourites too. I took one into work and he became very upset that I took that particular one - I had to return it as soon as I could. Whilst I don't completely understand, as I get older more of me does and I feel relieved he has them because they make my life a bit easier as they calm him down.

Hah! - Maybe they might work for Horace who at the moment is running about madly in the sunshine chasing his shadow? I am learning everyday but now I am wondering what the heck I've started and can I ever stop ...........?