Peace and quiet

Jonathan goes away sometimes , just over night whilst he works at Cambridge Autism Research Unit. I used to dread these trips but now I kind of treat them as a form of almost respite care - haha. Time to myself to wallow in deep baths, to watch trashy soaps and to watch as many adverts as I like! 

The last statement is correct if not a little bizarre - Jon hates them and when ad breaks appear will flick maniacally through the channels often cursing whilst doing so. I often point out the ad breaks are nearly always at the same time on all sides but I don't think he has grasped this - haha. I have also been to our local M&S at 8.30 as they close at 10pm just because I could! I tidy the house the day he goes and I don't need to do it again until he returns with loads of washing, fossils and train time tables (more about that later in another blog) 

Strangely enough though after a couple of days I begin to miss him and the constant noise he insists we have to listen too (he has a radio on most of the time). I find myself sleeping in his T shirts and talking to the cat. I get excited when he rings then annoyed as he often just tells me what he has been up to, telling me everything hurriedly in a kind of matter of fact manner. I will have had a take away and driven through the drive in, a luxury he won't ever experience!? I don't get why but he refuses. By this time I will be feeling guilty as I've eaten to many calories and am very lonely. He is my life you see, my world, without him I am lost. I've become so used to looking out for him I've kind of lost my identity in the process- this I hope to reclaim through my blog. I am striving to step out again on my own as myself even if its only for a few moments whilst I type new words and mould sentences. Please don't think I resent him I don't I adore him and the crazy madness he has added to my life but if you step away from it you realise just how manic it can be.

At this very moment I can hear him upstairs playing with Horace acting out some battle or something, bombs, planes - the works, so let's step back in to regain some order in the house before one of them gets hurt........

It's been a good day