Work or Play where's better?
When you reach the stage you neither feel comfortable at home or a work what do you do? Neither place fills me with a desire to spent inordinate amounts of time there. At home I have the continual stamping of the baby elephants that live next door and the stress of what ever emergency Jonathan is solving or causing depending on the situation. Whilst at work I feel I am continually being reminded of my fibromyalgia and my short comings in the brain department - all of this has taken its toll on me this week. I therefore have a few days to try to relax and to give my body a bloody good talking to. My body is not my friend, it shakes and it hurts as well as resembling candle wax in places (not a good look). But can live with that, a pair of leggings or skinny jeans can hide a a multitude of sins and chuck a pair of heels on and I appear to loose a stone virtually instantly. My problem is the pain, the tiring dull ache that refuses to leave me, the pain in my shoulders that feels like someone has ripped my arms off plus the horrible sense of dread I live with constantly. I do not understand why but the fear will not leave me, I suspect it's down to my meds but I don't like it and now I've said it out loud hopefully it will die down.
Jon has returned from Cambridge this week with his official diagnosis of Aspergers, we knew anyway but an official test had to be completed and he is now wearing his title with pride and why shouldn't he? its the Aspergers that has enabled him to become the success he is and the obsessions that have shaped him into the man he is - not to mention filling up two bedrooms and a dining room. I blame James May or captain Slow as he is affectionately called on Top Gear, a while ago he did a few program's about toys - trains, Lego etc and he did one on 'airfix' kits. This in turn reminded my dear husband just how much he loved doing them so he decided to start again with German tanks and off to the shop we went after at least an hour his first kit was purchased. He rushed home all excited and built it within a few hours - he doesn't need the instructions as he can just tell where all the bits go - it's a shame he can't do that with DIY but never mind. Many times i had to get up as precious parts flew through the air to disappear behind the sofa..... Yep you guessed it I now have a house full of plastic German tanks all lined up ready to be built painted and displayed some where? but not here , Please...Some of the soldiers he has hidden around the house - one of which was stuck to our freezer door for months. Why he can't have one and then build it before painting it goodness only knows but he must have over a hundred. Then there is the model railway gun 4 foot long replete with trains and planes he also has - all to be built - some already started. So Mr May are you happy now? We have glue, kits, reference books, magazines, DVDs, paints, tiny screwdrivers bits of metal and ice cream tubs full of goodies all over the house..... I've always preferred Richard Hammond anyway especially now!!!
I really do need a safe haven a place where I can go and relax, a place where I can totally switch off from everything or maybe I could just turn every thing around me off instead. I could then use this time to catch up with my house work, maybe have a holiday before returning home to turn everything back on again so the usual manic chaos can resume because I'm sure I would miss it really and what would I write about?
I'd never be bored though as I would have all these model kits to complete but I would paint them all pink I'd have to have the last laugh.....
And I would send the first to Captain Slow with lots of glitter ......
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