you are too normal ....

July 2015

You are too normal you are ! 

If you tell a child often enough they wont amount to much they will grow up believing it.

This statement is true totally 100% true, that's why some of the comments I have received about this blog have surprised me. I was told this week I had inspired someone to write. This came as a shock because I wasn't even sure I was writing myself... so far all I have done is bare my soul. 

This I have managed to do because you are all anonymous. This blog isn't advertised on my FaceBook account and the majority of my followers on Twitter are photos and user names. Whilst I share my life's up and downs with the world I can continue with my invisibility and with that invisibility comes safety. 

All my life I have tried to live up to other people's expectations and have always felt I had failed. My parents never appeared to be pleased with any thing I did nor did my first husband for that matter and I am always surrounded by more intelligent/prettier/nicer people than myself or so it often  seems - therefore writing this blog has given me an avenue to express myself and much to my pleasure I am finding people have enjoyed reading it! This is good and better than any of the many counselling sessions I have completed.

To remove someone's self worth is one of the worst things you can do and I am now in the process of finding mine all over again. Please don't pity me or think I'm digging for compliments I'm not, all I want is to feel I've accomplished something and that includes making people laugh. 

It dawned on me today that the first 20 years of my life I tried so hard to look older and the rest trying just as hard to look younger. Life isn't the fun packed adventure I bought into as a child and to be honest I was miss-sold it! Once you become a grown up and you loose your sparkle it becomes harder to justify what you have done and what you would like to do with the time remaining. This bothers me lots and we will probably talk about this at some point but at the moment I'm feeling pretty cheated and I'm hoping in years to come I could maybe ask for a refund just as the PPI scandal has since come to light now...

I was told this morning I was too normal? I am still unsure if this was a compliment or an insult, or for that matter what normal actually means but for now I'm going along with it......